The Burning Cross to Heaven

"And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." (Nietzsche)

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"I am the first and last.

I am the whore and holy one.

I am lust outwardly,

yet within me is control.

For I am knowledge and ignorance.

I am shame and boldness.

I am strength and I am fear.

I am war and peace.

Give heed to me.

I alone exist

and have no one to judge me."

Thunder Perfect Mind (link)
Nag Hammadi Library.
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The Burning Cross to Heaven.
(Divine Solipsist of an Omniscient God)

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I thought, my God,

that on one fine day

I would realize Thee.

To my great surprise

on that wintry night,

'twas You who realized me!

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And if all Knowing 
belongs alone to God, 
One omniscient Being,
then in whose mind 
am I currently aware, 
if it be God's Willing?
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I know nothing!... my words are mist; God's Word alone exists;
in this unknowing, I am Known again, by the Sun-like Solipsist.
"Word" of words; one Page of Light, making all words knowable,
without Your space upon which I write, ideas are but invisible.
I feel I'm quite dead, yet also born again, for death is God also;
and by death's wish, as with life's will, one Ocean ebbs and flows. 
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God moves to Know God;
so Heaven heaves its
reflective consciousness.
Cloud of fiery Spirit,
light of bright Soul,
scintillating breathes.
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God's Will of the Word
is a weak force unheard,
eternal and universal.
My own will is stronger
at the personal level,
but only for awhile.
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Thus I put to the test
meditation's emptiness,
in this abyss of nowness.
Ceasing all my willing,
sacrificing self-knowing;
who moves me to exist?
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The meek see the Word,
its gravity uplifts them,
restoring the Kingdom.
God's weak Will be done,
lifting my Spirit, on the
burning Cross to Heaven.
*

The Cloud Mandorla of the Trinity.
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"No one can think of God. 
Therefore it is my wish to leave 

everything that I can think of  

and choose for my love 

the thing that I cannot think."

(from, The Cloud of Unknowing, 14th century)

~